Dating Files: Expert Tips For Finding Love In Quarantine

I figured I’m not the only one freaking out about my dating life right now so thought some trends and tips from an expert could be helpful. Lucky for us, a friend who set me up many years ago is now one of the top matchmakers in New York and is happy to come to our rescue!

Co Founder: Nikki Lewis

Company: The Bevy

IG: @wearethebevy @somethingnikki

Let’s start with a little bit about your company… tell us what your main goals at The Bevy are:

There is really one ultimate goal – to get our clients into serious, committed, happy and healthy relationships. While our success rate is very high, there’s always a possibility that something doesn’t pan out, in which case our two other goals are that our client either learned and improved his/her dating game or further discovered what he/she is looking for.

Our clients tend to be extremely private, busy and successful professionals who have everything and more to offer the right person, but don’t have the time to look for her either online or at the bars. That’s where we come in. We’ve taken the oldest concept of matchmaking and have completely turned it upside down, making it accessible to a small and spectacular set of people. A Bevy, if you will.

Tell us the top 3 ingredients to an absolutely amazing, healthy relationship. We want the secrets:

1. Communication. You’ve heard this before. It’s no secret that healthy relationships involve transparency. To keep your relationship thriving, communicate what you need from your partner, and don’t keep sweeping things that bother you under the rug. Have the difficult conversations early on to make sure you’re on the same page about key things.

2. Honesty. Yet again, another vague term you guys always hear about. Honesty pertains a lot to integrity – say what you mean, mean what you say. Don’t lie about trivial things – it will only lead you into a darker web. If you feel like you’re going to cheat, let your partner know why you’re having those thoughts before you do it.

3. Don’t date yourself. Pick a partner who isn’t the same as you. Pick someone who is different and complements you. Relationships grow stale when you can’t bring new things into it – new things to learn or do together. So choose someone who challenges you to be better.

Give your top 4 predictions for the dating world during & after Coronavirus:

1. I predict that once this pandemic calms down, there will be a surge in the need for intimacy – emotionally and physically. Quarantine is lonely for people who are single or living alone, so we sense people will crave intimate and emotionally satisfying connections.

2. But in this new normal, we predict that the typical first date of “drinks” may be spun on its head. Bars and restaurants will be kept at minimal capacity, so good luck scoring those two bar stools. Luckily, we reserve date spaces for all of our clients.

3. Share houses are at a standstill, as is that summer vacation you might have planned. We predict you’ll need a different method of meeting people. Through a matchmaker, perhaps?

4. Expect that the emotionally unavailable have caught up to you. I think that after months of loneliness, the untouchables will realize that they crave serious companionship.

Are you seeing your clients even interested in dating or are their heads too preoccupied with the current situation? Help us manage our expectations!

While we have a few clients who are interested in FaceTime dates, most of our clients have hit the pause button. Because there is no end in sight, it can be a little depressing to walk into something when you can’t make plans to see each other any time soon. Don’t freak yourself out if you’re not dating right now. It’s ok. Many people are taking a hiatus. But if you’re eager to meet someone, I say go for it! Don’t be shy to initiate – there are no rules anymore! And for the record, I’m a huge proponent of the FaceTime date.

Are apps dead? Where should we be meeting nice guys if no one is setting us up?

I’m not usually a fan of apps, but during quarantine I’m more lenient. Everyone is BORED. Manage your expectations on the apps right now and realize that you’ll make a lot of penpals. It’s a cure for boredom, but not necessarily a cure for your singledom. Since everyone is on now, expect that your beau is chatting up lots of others, as well. But fingers crossed for a lasting connection!

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